5. Refocus Your Life


As you Refocus your Life to bring your personal mission into each area, you will know what actions to take on your journey.

Participant Book page 115/Facilitator Guide page 257

Some women have asked why “5-6 close friends” is specified under the area of “Best Friends.” The number does not need to be taken too seriously. It could be as low as 3 or as high as 8. Research into key relationships in people’s lives indicates that most people have 5-6 intimate relationships to which they are more open, transparent and free to truly be themselves. These relationships make them feel loved and supported.

When talking about the area of best friends, you want to encourage the women to focus more toward these kinds of intimate, open and supportive relationships. These intimate relationships enable them to truly be themselves and help them feel loved. Their intimate friends are there for them in both happy times and horrible times, and they are truly honest with them. These kinds of relationships are different than the ones they may have with spouses or family members. They may have many acquaintances they call friends, but those people won’t fit the criteria of “best friends.”

Research about stress suggests that those who have a stronger and more resilient well being tend to have a small number of intimate relationships apart from their spouse or family members. Research also shows that when women are in the company of “best friends” a hormone is released in their body that delivers a sense of well being.

Participant Book page 125/Facilitator Guide 277 Map of Life: Know where you are now
Participant Book page 133/ Facilitator Guide 293 Mental Picture of Mission
Participant Book page 134/ Facilitator Guide 295 Map of Life: Identify where God desires you to be


The three Life-Coaching Tools listed above are interrelated. They are designed to help women know how to refocus their life so they are living in alignment with their Personal Mission. They will have discovered their Personal Mission in the previous principle, Activate Your Mission.


The first tool gives a chance for the women to plot on the Map of Life (Participant Book page 125) the reality scores that reflect their current life in relationship to the seven areas of life. These scores are generated from the questionnaire on Participant Book pages 119-122.


The second tool guides them in creating a mental picture of what their life will look like in the seven areas of life if they are living in alignment with their personal mission. The scoring should reflect the priority of time and energy they believe God wants them to give to each area of life. The scoring does not relate to their current life nor is it a measure of their effort. This second scoring reflects what they envision their life will look like if they refocus to live in alignment with their personal mission.


The third tool takes them back to the Map of Life (Participant Book page 125.) Using the scores from their Mental Picture of Mission (Participant Book page 133), they will add a second plotting on the Map of Life. This will help them identify the gap between what their life looks like now in the seven areas of life and how their life will look if they live in accordance with their God-given mission. It will pose the question, “What actions do I need to take to refocus my priorities, time and energy to be living more in alignment with the living mental picture of my God-given mission everyday?” The plotting reflects reality versus future preferred, which then leads to the actions that would fill the gap.

For example, if their score is an 8 in a particular area now, and living their mission reflects an 8 also, they don’t need to make any adjustment. If, however, living their mission in that area reflects a 6, they need to ask themselves, “What do I need to let go of, refocus or redirect?” If living their mission reflects a 9, they will need to ask themselves, “What actions, time and energy do I need to apply to move to a 9?” Remember, the second plotting on the Map of Life is a preferred mental picture of living their mission fully as God intended.